What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

It’s true, cutting calories will make you depressed - The Times

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why The Simpsons stopped producing Maude Flanders episodes?

What! how could you do that?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

Vandals slash tires on dozens of vehicles in West Michigan - MLive.com

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”